Friday, January 14, 2005 ;
11:31:00 PM
i really wish i could write like her.. have that gift of english as she does. its beautiful the way she writes, words that seem to spring off the page and take on a life of its own.. and when its done, when you're through with reading, you can only sit back and sigh and wish you had that natural ability. bah.
its nearing 12 and i'm still waiting.. i dont really know what to feel or do. a whole bunch of insecurities are flooding in and i know its absurd, stupid and crazy but i cant help it. i just feel like going down to the beach now and amidst the crashing of the waves - to scream out whatever i am feeling. coz i'm just so confused and i dont know what to do and i hate feeling so helpless - like this. so terribly helpless. argh.
anyway. to get on with a lighter note.. i was reminded today of how much i just hate printers. they get jammed, stuck, make the weirdest noises that make you wonder if they are going to explode any moment, no ink, whatever! grr.. thank goodness my print jobs in nus turned out fine despite being jammed and my cashcard stuck in the reader. infuriating...
had psychology lecture today.. sad thing i'm not allowed to take it as a major. it would really be interesting. realized that i havent seen much of my jc friends this sem and i really thank God for that. no longer constrained by them? dunno. i crave friendship and when i have it, i shun away. or maybe its just personality clash. *i hope* or its probably, most possibly, just me. gee.
argh. try as i might, i cant stop wondering, stop imagining. i best stop here before i go insane.
every day is a new day ♥
