Monday, November 29, 2004 ;
11:12:00 PM
i keep pretending its fine, its alright. that it never happened, that you never said or wrote those things. but you did. and the more i hide, the more it hurts - though i hardly realized it. but now i do. i just feel like i'm used. by you. yes you. when you need me, you'd call or sms me. say nice things, oh i dont know. but when you found that you could do fine without me, i became nothing but a used tissue - due for the dustbin. and the sad thing is, its not only you who does that to me too. there's another you too. and when its my turn to try to tell you my problems, you change the subject - you hardly bother to listen. you dont offer any words to say, you just keep quiet. and yet, what can i do? Jesus was persecuted by everyone around him - he was used, doubted and hated.. and yet he loved all of them with every fibre of his being. (yes jon, you're probably going to say that we're made of cells, not fibre but its just a figure of speech, yeah?) i guess, i guess.. its time for me to do the same. to love and not expect to be loved and not expect others to be interested in my affairs at all - unless its out of curiousity - and even if they expect me to be interested in theirs.
yes there
will be an end to this infinity. meanwhile, i'll just seek the Lord and depend on Him for He'll listen, no doubt, when the others wont.
every day is a new day ♥
