Sunday, September 12, 2004 ;
11:59:00 PM
i dont know what to say to you. i just feel that something underneath the surface has changed and i cant finger what exactly it is... maybe i'm just trying to run away from it all.
and you. i feel detached. strangely alien. and again i cant understand why. all those times we ever shared... seems to amount to nothing now. you and i have totally different sets of thinking and no matter how i explain, you'll never be able to understand.
you. you just piss me off with everything you do. everything you say. i dont know what to do with you - someone told me that i should love you and live in peace with you... and yet... its so hard to love those who are so hard to love.
and again, you. i know you care for me and love me as you always had. but i wish you'll learn to let go, give me space, let me breathe. just trust me to know how to manage my time. i really wish you'll understand and give me the freedom i long for!
another you. i'm NOT blur. stop thinking i am. you only bring me down like that. and you preach against such. how ironic.
and a final you. i love you. nothing else i can say can aptly describe how i feel. thanks for always being there for me and listening to my rantings, my moodswings... holding fast to me even when i'm the least loveable - when everyone else turns away. i thank God for sending you along my life's pathway. i'll pray for you - that God'll continue to work in your life and convict you. i hope to see you grow to be a man of God. i hope i can contribute, not hinder that growth. may God use us effectively for his glory!
every day is a new day ♥
