Tuesday, July 13, 2004 ;
11:24:00 PM
its been a good day i guess... meeting up with shi ying and yu hui - both of which i havent seen for a long time... yup. bought a handbag from dorothy perkins for 19 dollars, which is rather cheap! looks a little like shi ying's $50 handbag too... wahhaha... di was like yikez when he saw it haha... think its too girly for him la... bleauhz.
guess i'll be staying at home tomorrow... nothing much to do i guess. mum also prefers to have me stay home. that way i wont be using money. maybe that's what i should do huh? but its scary staying home. coz... its when things start coming to memory - things i want to forget and dont want to think about... they will begin rush in like a tidal wave... sigh. i just need to distract myself, numb myself from feeling anything. i'm this close to losing and i dont know what to do; i'm at my wits end. i need desperately to talk to someone but i dont know who. i dont know alot of things. i need someone to hold on to. a lifeline. i'm just barely hanging over the edge - though i sure dont look like it - and i'm fast losing my grip. very soon, maybe, it might be goodbye. and i can only stand there in the distance, watching everything that i once loved so long ago, all i hoped for diminish into the silent darkness.
and what can i do? tell me,
what can i do??
every day is a new day ♥
