Friday, June 25, 2004 ;
7:58:00 PM
went for my appointment with the audiologists again today... and guessed it turned out well coz the people there gave me advice... i dunno... coz they asked me what do i want to do after taking arts and social sciences in nus... and if i wanted to be a teacher but my answers were dont know and no respectively. sigh. i felt so much like a lost child in a shopping mall... with many tall adults looming over me looking down in sympathy but powerless to do anything to help because my mother has left me there... sigh i dont know. i never considered building and real estate... it sure doesnt seem to be my forte at all... those who know me well enough should know my passion lies surely and undoubtedly in literature and the english language. but then again, those people there mentioned that if i do follow my heart, my passion... i might lose out coz i wouldnt know where to go after i graduate. there'll be a huge grp of people graduating from the arts and all looking, hungry for jobs. will there be enough to go around? i'll never know. after all, it boils down to living in, being in a practical world... and sure enough, the course i'm given is practical and may lead me to greater heights... sigh. i'm confused. i just want to pursue my interest in lit and my heart screams a loud resounding "no" but my mind... a soft, rather unwilling "yes". its not like i have a choice, do i? i have to. what then about my literature? who knows? maybe it'll just fade away... in the passages of time... and i'll be taken over by the practicality of this harsh world, forsaking my softer passions of the power of language.
i just argued with her again. its tiring me out, bringing out the worst in me. and yet, i wonder if what i did was wrong... maybe i was wrong... but i just feel so irritated everytime she's late, changes plans at the last minute... its so irresponsible and its like taking me for granted... she can attend to all her appointments that she made but i'm not allowed to? cmon. sigh. i dont know. its so frustrating.
going out with bj soon. sigh, if only they let him out earlier... now i have much lesser time to spend with him. but i shouldnt complain, rather i should be thankful i can see him at least... after such a long while.
alright gotta leave now... see ya all~
every day is a new day ♥
