Friday, April 23, 2004 ;
12:00:00 PM
am feeling so inconvenienced by my computer not working... cant come online to chat or idle away time like i used to do... so am basically just bumming around at home reading comics or novels or making my friends go out with me... just cant stand sitting there doing nothing.
am at suri's house right now using her com... derek's in ns already... went in yesterday... have to remember to sms him and ask how is it coming along~ heh... wonder what he'll say...
went for a funeral wake last night... feelings of deja vu came back again... i coudnt help crying for the bereaved family - they are people i know and care for... it just... seems so weird how one life can be confined like that in the end - in a box. when i looked at the face, it took all of me to stop from shuddering and breaking down right there... and yet i have mxed feelings coz i know that he's finally up there rejoicing and praising God high in the heavens... something he never really had the opportunity to do so here on earth. leon and i were just stunned and quiet for a long moment... didnt quite know what to say at first. sometimes words are just so inadequate.
sigh... and when i look at the adults... they seemed almost hardened. its like the 100+ funerals they have been too ( i'm exaggerating about the number but it sure seems like it...) and they no longer feel that fresh grief as one does when going for his/her first few funeral wakes... it was so sad to see how they have been almost
calloused, in a way.
oh well. after a while you just get so used to things around you that the novelty of it all just wears away... first everything is so wonderful as a child... and it becomes stale news when you're older. if only i wouldnt ever lose that fasination i had when a child.
okok think that's all for now... am going to meet bj later! =)
every day is a new day ♥
